After I incubate on this topic, I’ll have a post with a list about what Southern Fathers can teach their daughters. I was fortunate because I raised both a boy and girl. It’s a great thing being raised in the South. I really don’t think I could live anywhere else. I wanted to list here (with a few comments) a dozen things Southern can teach their sons when they’re young.  I know the list changes with age and perhaps regions lived in, and there are many other skills that could have been listed here, but here is a list of what I think is important for a Southern boy to learn:

1. To sharpen a knife: This is a skill he will need all his life, so the younger he learns this the better. Dull knives are more dangerous than sharp ones.

2. To fish or hunt: You know the saying–Give a man a fish and you feed him for a meal. Teach him how to fish and you’ve fed him a lifetime. And I think all methods are important–rod and reel, cane pole, trot-line, nets, box traps. Fishing is great in the South. Same for hunting.

3. To type: This is really not hard to do. Teach him the correct finger positions and call out the letters, numbers, and symbols he should type.  I personally think a manual typewriter is best for this. Work him up to forty words a minute, and he will always be able to find work.

4. Teach him how to play different sports and encourage him to join organizations (Scouts, etc.):  He may not stick with any of them. He may not even like them, but if he knows he can make an intelligent decision about it. Besides, sports are good for a boy in this couch-potato, television numbed age. I really believe there is a physical sport for every and any boy. The more he learns the better. Time and talent will reveal the one(s) he excels in. Look for scholarship trends and opportunities.

5. To read and use a map:  Very practical. Teach him perspective of distance and awake curiosity of new places. (Internet can help you with these matters). You can use a topographical map to teach compass use and about terrain when hunting.

6. To follow written directions to make or do something: A boy who learns to read instructions will be way ahead of the pack.  Too many boys live by, “When all else fails, read the instructions.”

7. To tie knots. We will always need to know how to secure items and accomplish tasks with rope and string.

8. To take photographs: One doesn’t regret taking too many photographs as much as “not” taking them.

9. To keep a scrapbook, diary, or create collections. Collections often teach the boy as he’s making them.

10. To defend himself and others. There’s no reason a boy or those important to him or the innocent about him should be victims. He will thank his father later for such training.

11. To start and build a fire (several different ways), to learn to swim, and other survival skills.

12. To work and to make money from that work.  A boy who doesn’t learn how to work won’t be worth spit.

There are many other skills and needs I could have put on this list, some that relate more to the spiritual and social side of a boy, but perhaps these will get you thinking. This list may be reproduced and used freely as long as you give me and the Southern Missive blog credit.

I’ve been thinking of ghosts a good deal lately. I think it started with my trip to Greenville, MS and staying up late that Friday night 7wapping ghost stories. I heard some doozies!  Enough to make you believe. Also, while in Jefferson, TX last Friday, I went on a ghost tour. The walk through Jefferson lasted about two hours. Evidently Jefferson is the seventh most haunted city in Texas. There were about twenty people strolling along with the tour. Some were really into ghosts.  A few were members of paranormal societies. Most of the ghosts discussed are rather peaceful spirits, but a couple of ghosts were malevolent. I was surprised to see how many people live in haunted houses. I guess they’ve made their peace with the ghosts who live there. I would be afraid that I would tick the ghost off in some way and they would flip out in some macabre manner and take it out on me.

Here is a photo of the ghost tour guide, Jodi. She is quite knowledgeable of Jefferson’s history and ghosts.

Louisiana, like Texas, has its share of ghosts. I am particularly interested in ghosts of the Civil War. That will be my next ghost search.

GRAPEVINE, TX

Tomorrow, I’ll be at the Grapevine Public LIbrary, presenting my Scots-Irish program for about 100 kids. Should be a great day. Hopefully, I return with a pic or two and a good report on it.

Today is a tough entry. I have two fine children: Rachel, a RN at St. Francis Hospital; Zachary, a surveyor; and I have two grandchildren through Rachel, Mason (age 3 years) and Davis (a few days old). I’m not sure though I could call myself a good father, or that I even know what a good father is. I think my father was a good one. He was strict, but not too overbearing, totally devoted  to our family, and the hardest working man I’ve ever seen.  I think of this song by Holly Dunn when I think of him:

I remember Daddy´s hands, folded silently in prayer.
And reaching out to hold me, when I had a nightmare.
You could read quite a story, in the callouses and lines.
Years of work and worry had left their mark behind.
I remember Daddy´s hands, how they held my Mama tight,
And patted my back, for something done right.
There are things that I´ve forgotten, that I loved about the man,
But I´ll always remember the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy’s hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

I remember Daddy´s hands, working ’til they bled.
Sacrificed unselfishly, just to keep us all fed.
If I could do things over, I´d live my life again.
And never take for granted the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy’s hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy’s hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love …..
In Daddy´s hands.

My daddy had a hard life–much harder than mine, and I wonder how he kept his ideals so intact. He was one who ALWAYS kept his word. For example, he promised his mother he’d never drink, and he never has, and as far as I can tell, that’s the only reason he hasn’t. God knows when I was growing up I gave him enough reason to. Here’s a short list of what I think a Father is:

A father is a trainer.  (he Hebrews said, “He who doesn’t teach his son a trade teaches him to steal.”)

A father is a protector. (He often protected me from myself)

A father is a teacher. (I could have learned more)

I won’t see my father on this father’s day, but I will call him. How can I tell him how much I love him? How can I tell him how grateful I am for all he did for me? I can only try.

More tomorrow.

Sometimes we learn much about  a man and about history from little anecdotes and quotations. A friend sent me this: Here is a little something from our Great Commander…Robert E. Lee. Notice how in his mind the South was not fighting for slavery (five of the Northern states fighting the South were also slave states) but a particular cause:

“Soldiers! We have sinned against Almighty God. We have forgotten his signal mercies, and have cultivated a revengeful, haughty, and boastful spirit. We have not remembered that the defenders of a just cause should be pure in His eyes; that “our times are in His Hands,” and we have relied too much on our own arms for the achievement of our independence. God is our only refuge and our strength. Let us humble ourselves before Him. Let us confess our many sins, and beseech Him to give us a higher courage, a purer patriotism, and more determined will; that He will convert the hearts of our enemies; that He will hasten the time when war, with its sorrows and sufferings, shall cease, and that He will give us a name and a place among the nations of the earth.”– R.E. Lee.

Some Good Links for Students of the Civil War

If you don’t know about CivilWar.Com., you should check out their site:

Tons of good information.  Google Earth also has great battlefield maps.

Writing:

Sometimes, I don’t know why I chose the brutal career of writing. Perhaps, I need some “Moksha,” a Hindu word that means freedom from the world of ordinary experience.  If you are a writer, you are certainly not ordinary, and if you desire the “ordinary,” why on earth would you want to be a writer? I believe I was meant to be a writer, and I hope that this year God and fate will be good to me and help me produce more. By this time next year, I hope to have six books in print.  I have so much to learn though. This year, there are two books I especially need to read and ponder and memorize from to help me be a better writer and editor: The Fiction Dictionary and the Chicago Manual of Style.  I also need to reread John Dufresne’s book on fiction writing, The Lie that Tells a Truth.

Today, I’m off to East Texas. I just finished reading a prepublication copy of The Amethyst Stone by Marti Crisp, a young reader’s novel. I enjoyed it greatly and I’m sure it will do well. I’ll post publication information on this novel later.

QUOTATIONS:

Those who know me for any length of time, and certainly those who hear me teach or make speeches, will hear the following quotations. I have long lost the original sources:

“Experience is not the best teacher–it’s just the hardest teacher.”

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes you.”

“Do the hardest task first.”

The Year of Jefferson Davis:

Though it is now almost over, and I don’t receive MPB channels, I was excited to learn that a Jefferson Davis film is to debut on MPB. “Jefferson Davis: An American President” will debut on MPB television at 8 p.m. Monday-Wednesday, June 9-11. The documentary covers the man who led the Confederate States of America during the Civil War. That story includes footage from Rosemont Plantation in Woodville, where Davis grew up, and Beauvoir, his home in Biloxi, as well as sites in Alabama, Virginia and Washington, D.C. Percival Beacroft of Woodville produced the documentary, which will be rebroadcast at 8 p.m. on Tuesday and Wednesday. According to this site, this information appeared originally in the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal, 6/8/2008, section D , page 2. I hope to own copies of this documentary someday. Ruth Murdock, whom I met at the Children of the Confederacy Convention in Greenville last weekend, said that Mrs. Crist, in charge of the Jefferson Davis papers at Rice University, mentioned Jim Limber during one of the Broadcasts.

Thinking Like a Yankee

I think I’m adapting my Civil War program so that I can vary it according to the state I go to. Even if I have to take on a Federal/Yankee persona for states north and west, I can teach the students about the true causes and issues of the War Between the States. For example, I’ve got plenty of Yankee quotes about the War not being caused over slavery, and certainly plenty of songs. More on this later.

Recent Read:

I just finished reading a prepublication manuscript of The Bright Mason: An American Mystery by Robert Berry. Absolutely fascinating story of murder and intrigue in the early 19th century that involved the Masons. When it comes out, you’ll want to catch this one. Berry is a journalist, and the quality of his writing indicates that he is a good one. When I have publication information, I’ll post it on this blog.

A PHOTO BLOG OF MY GREENVILLE, MS TRIP

Here are some photos of my weekend as the featured speaker and performer for “Down Home in the Delta”, 57th Annual Mississippi Division, Children of the Confederacy Convention, June 6-7, 2008.

First of all, here is the Confederate Memorial constructed by the United Daughters of the Confederacy and and the group of Confederate graves surrounding it. The men buried here came from all over the South. It was a ceremony entirely led by the Children and was very touching.

Next we have one of me, making my speech at the Greenville Yacht Club. Next to me is the President, Richard Fairchild (he also had a twin brother there) and Hannah Bariola, Convention Chairman.

Here are two photos of me and some of the group gathered in the Greenville Inn Courtyard, swapping ghost tales! Kathy is the pretty lady in the second photo. Her daughter, Kaley Anderson, is the Division Chaplain.

Here I am with Alicia Bariola, the Chapter Director for the Mississippi Swamp Rangers Chapter of the Children of the Confederacy. She is the one in charge of planning and organizing the whole wonderful weekend.

And finally, here I stand with Andy Hoszowski, a very interesting, knowledgeable, and talented fellow, devoted to the Confederate Cause. He also works with theatre and we are talking about creating a production of the Jim Limber story in Greenville in the future. I’ve got to get to writing.

I’M A GRANDFATHER AGAIN! – My daughter Rachel gave birth to Davis Stewart Shelby. Here are the details:

Birthday     6/6/2008
Time of Birth     5:32 PM
Weight     6 lbs, 12 ozs
Length     19 in

And here’s a little photo.

Looks like he’s attempting to make his first Confederate salute!

By the time you read this, unless you’re a real night owl, I’ll be leaving Greenville and on my way back to Monroe after a packed, fun-filled weekend with the Mississippi Division of the Children of the Confederacy.  I have made so many new friends, and as usual when I’m around people who love history, learned so much.  Today, I mostly performed with my guitar for the CofC, though I did manage to drive a little bit around Greenville. Here is a photo of the Greenville Inn and Suites where I stayed, followed by a photo of the Greenville Yacht Club, built over the beautiful Mississippi River,  where I spent most of yesterday and today.

I went to see Greenville’s famous carousel on Main Street and met with the director of the Greenville Arts Council. Here is a photo of Alvin Simmons and the carousel.  Alvin has worked with the  Arts Council and the carousel for a year.  The second photo is of Alvin next to the steam engine that used to power the carousel.

You can read an article about the carousel and its fascinating history here:

From the Children’s Museum and the Carousel, I drove to McCormick’s Book Inn again for Elisabeth Payne Rosen’s book signing of her novel, Hallam’s War. (Civil War Novel) She was very friendly, and I enjoyed meeting her and talking to her about writing and especially writing about the great War.  You can see her tour and a very brief bio of her here:

People photos of my trip will follow in other posts. At the moment, I’m in the little dining room/lobby, watching Fox News. I was in my room, but was growing sleepy. I decided I needed to use my time and not turn in too early, so I grabbed a Diet Coke and my laptop and came here. I’m slightly manic from the excitement and adrenalin of the weekend now, so I doubt I’ll go to sleep. Perhaps I’ll get some writing done. Perhaps I’ll go walking and looking for ghosts. After all, when it grows dark, not everyone you see in Greenville is alive.

I love traveling to new places, especially places in the South and in the West. From my house in Monroe, Greenville MS is 112 miles, just a little over a two hour drive. I found the town quaint, though stores sparse in number, especially boutiques and the kinds of stores that would interest tourists who do lots of shopping. In spite of a rich heritage, live music is also sparse. However the two or three bars/taverns in town seem to do a very lively business at night. Where do all these people come from? Daytime traffic is light. Supposedly, Greenville is a town with lots of ghost. After dark, not everyone you meet in Greenville is alive. We told ghost stories till nearly midnight last night. I heard some very interesting tales.

Both of my books are now in the public library here, and will also be carried McCORMICK BOOK INN, a great independent bookstore. They also have a great site: The store’s motto posted on the site is Literature & Greenville: it’s like drinking the brown water. It’s just what we do. (And the drinking and bathing water here does have a certain tint to it.)

My lodging is in the beautiful, Greenville Inn & Suites. A hot day yesterday–96 degrees. Will likely be just as warm today. I set up in the Greenville Yacht Club, where we will be the rest of the day and to which I hope to return for a musical booking. I’ll have plenty of photos in the near future. I’ve made many new friends, met some extremely knowledgeable people, and booked some future appointments. The children of the Confederacy are beautiful and smart and it is encouraging to see them take such interest in history and heritage.

Whenever I think of Mississippi, I think of Robert Johnson and the deal he made with the devil-man at the crossroads. I especially loved Eric Clapton and Cream’s interpretation of that song. I wonder if writers, like musicians have to make deals with the devil. You can read an interesting and somewhat creepy version about Johnson’s deal here:

I’ll try to do another posting tonight or at least by tomorrow morning, so come back and visit.

On July 16 and 17 of this year, I will be in Cameron Parish for a book event and program. Here is a poster about those programs: