Two Leprechauns Go Into a Bar . . .

Two Leprechaun’s Go into a Bar–A Very Short Story . . .

Two leprechauns, Seamus and Angus, go into the Rainbow Lounge, an American bar in Fort Worth, intending to have some fun with the locals. They put on cowboy hats and boots, and enter singing, “Somewhere, over the rainbow,” for that is a leprechaun’s favorite American song. They climb up the barstools having sung their little hearts out. The jukebox is now playing Randy Newman’s song, “Short People.” One pounds on the counter with his shillelagh. “We’ll have a pint and a half,” he said. “For each of us.” The bartender evidently knew something about Irish pubs because he brought each of them a pint of Guinness and a glass of whiskey on the side. “Here you are. Pints for you half-pints.”

Still determined to mess with the bartender’s mind, the other leprechaun said, “I’m in desperate need of a job. Would you hire me?”

“What kind of job do you want? A short-order cook?” the bartender said. “Or you might make a good secretary, writing in short hand in all.”

“Can you turn on that TV above your head there. Maybe there’s a futbol game on.” Angus elbows the other leprechaun, “He probably doesn’t know the difference between American football and soccer.”

The bartender hits the remote and a soccer game came on. The Irish were playing the Swiss.

“I used to be quite the soccer player,” Seamus said.
The bartender smiled. “I would have thought your sport would have been baseball–you know, playing short-stop or something.”
Angus had taken all he could from the smart-ass bartender. “Would you stop the short jokes? I’m getting worked up.”
The bartender wiped the counter, then flipped the towel across Angus’ face. “I always heard leprechauns were short-tempered. Pay for your drinks and get out. You owe me twenty dollars. In gold of course.”
“Well,” Angus said. “You know how this is going to end up. Our gold is buried in Ireland. We’re a little short on funds, so we’re going to have to short-change you.”

*For those of you who haven’t ever heard the song “Short People” by Randy Newman, here are the lyrics:
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live

They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin’ great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
`Round here

Short people are just the same
As you and I
(A fool such as I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It’s a wonderful world)

Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin’ peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They’re gonna get you every time
Well, I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
‘Round here

Off Magazine Street by Ronald Everett Capps: A Review

I hardly ever watch television, but I love movies. However, my schedule is now so incredibly busy and packed with college and writing business that I don’t often get to watch a movie or read a book. However, a couple of weeks ago, I managed to do both. I had a small window of time and on one of the movie channels caught Love Song for Bobby Long with John Travolta and Scarlett Johansson. I found the film moving, and I checked to see if it were based on a book. It was–the novel by Ronald E. Capps entitled, Off Magazine Street.

Gone to Texas (Again)

This weekend will be busy. Tonight, I have a presentation for the Sherman, Texas, SCV. Then tomorrow, a signing at Waldenbooks at the mall in Sherman, and an Americana music show at the Java Stop Coffee House beginning at 7:00 p.m. Saturday, I’ll have signings at the Sherman Sam’s Club and the Books A Million. Monday, I’m presenting a program at Region VIII Media & Library Services in Mt. Pleasant, Texas. I’ll then return home Monday night and get ready for the next cycle of author events. Here is a flyer for my weekend. If you’re in the area, come and see me.

Sherman Author & Music Events

Sherman Author & Music Events

Leprechaun Searches for Buried Gold in Monroe, Louisiana

Seamus the Leprechaun took a few days off from his cobbler business to attend the Jackson, Mississippi Celtic Fest. A full report of his adventures there will be forthcoming. On his return he stopped at the sign welcoming visitors to Monroe, Louisiana. After wading through water up to the soft mound of dirt the sign is built on, he posed for this photo. When asked why this sign was important to him, he said:

“I’m looking for a pot of gold! I heard that

Red River Fever: Poem/Song Lyrics by Rickey Pittman

Here are the lyrics to a song I wrote based on the myths and legends regarding the Red River. I wrote a novel based on the fever legend. You can check it out on the sidebar. I’m working on the song structure. I’m sure it will be in a minor key.

Red River Fever by Rickey E. Pittman

On the edge of the Indian nations,

Once a violent no man