A Poem I Found

Diggging through my files, I found this poem and thought I should post it.


Do I still appear unbidden in your dreams?
Walking through them with
Our unresolved issues?
Troubling your conscience,
Pricking your heart?
Have you succeeded in banishing me
Entirely from your day-thoughts?
Do you read my poems,
Or even your own?
What can you honestly write now
In the kingdom of mommydom?
Have you succeeded in banishing
Me from your daily thoughts?

How could I not be a point of reference,
A point of comparison?
How could his passion, attention,
His adoration compare to mine?
It can’t . . .
But I know you’ll settle for it,
For less than we had that year.

There’ll never be a day
When I won’t whisper your name,
Or wish for a glance of you,
You are always there . . . unbidden,
But always wanted, always desired.
We were a love poem a ballad of love,
That suddenly underwent a Derida deconstruction,
Turning everything upside down.

How can you read Jong, Miller, Keats,
And the other books on your shelves,
And not think of me?
Do you still read my poems?
Do you wonder what I’ve written since?
Do you read your own poems . . .
What can you honestly write now
In the kingdom of mommydom?

Your “club,” your “group”
Will replace our intimate talks,
You’ll be recognized as a
Faithful and loving wife,
But you’ll always be the
Love of my life.

The group saved your life,
But I saved your heart,
Go on . . . say your prayers,
But you’ll never be free of me.